Blue Christmas
by Shi-Toyu
Summary: It's Loki and Tony's first Christmas as a couple but considering Loki is still a supervillain and they can't tell anyone about their relationship they can't exactly spend it together. So now Tony is stuck with friends, more like family, and unable to get into the spirit of the holiday he loves. Luckily, he isn't the only one missing the company. FrostIron.


Blue Christmas

Tony hunkered down a little further into his sweatshirt as he stepped out onto the balcony of Avengers Tower. He let the door close quickly behind him so as not to let any of the chill wind in. The others were all still gathered in the living room, swapping stories and just relaxing. Gift exchanges had already happened and now they were just sharing in each other's company. Tony had just needed to escape for a little while.

Snow swirled through the air in mini tornados and Tony couldn't help but shiver while JARVIS got the heat lamps going. This was New York, after all, and it wasn't exactly warm in the middle of winter. On the bright side, it meant a white Christmas for Avengers Tower. As if to combat his thoughts, Elvis's Blue Christmas began to play over the speakers that mirrored the ones inside. Tony snorted in amusement as he moved to lean against the railing.

"I wish you were here, you know."

The wind snatched away his words, but that was fine. He wasn't expecting anyone to hear him anyway. The one he wanted couldn't be here.

He and Loki had gotten together some months before, but they both knew it wasn't something they could reveal to the rest of the world. No one knew about the relationship, which had raised some questions when Tony had suddenly stopped sleeping around, but no one pushed too hard. They were probably afraid of having him slip back into bad habits.

This would be their first Christmas as a couple and they couldn't even spend it together. Tony had always been a huge fan of Christmas and Pepper would immediately know something was terribly wrong if he tried to skip out to spend it somewhere else. Rhodey and Happy might even panic enough to assume some terrorist-level threat.

So here was Tony, on his favorite day of the year, trying to cover up how much he'd rather not be there. He was pretty sure Natasha had caught on from the way she kept shooting him worried looks. Maybe he could manage to catch himself a cold while he was out here so he could pass it off as oncoming illness.

He heaved a sigh and twisted around so his back was to the railing and he could look through the great windows and into his own living room. His team and his closest friends were curled up throughout the room, looking so happy and content. It warmed him a bit, getting to see them like that. They deserved to be happy and he would happily spend every moment making sure they were just that, if he could.

Steve appeared to be in the middle of telling some story complete with wild gestures and a huge grin. Maybe it was from the 40's or his time with the Howling Commanders because it looked like he was trying to drag Bucky into the telling right along with him. The soldier was still more silent than most, but he seemed to be getting better. Tony could just make out a small smile decorating his face as he watched Steve's storytelling.

Clint and Natasha were curled around each other until it was almost impossible to tell whose limbs were whose. It wasn't sexual, or even couple-y, just them finding comfort in the physical contact with someone they trusted explicitly. Tony never could quite figure out how they pulled that off. Happy and Pepper were certainly looking more couple-y where she was perched on his armrest.

"I get jealous of other couples sometimes, you know?" He began speaking to the air again. "Happy and Pepper, Thor and Jane…they can just _be_ together and we can't. Not that I'd trade what we have for the world, I just wish I could have you at my side at any moment."

He pouted for a bit, still watching his family through the glass. They were more of a family to him than the one he'd been born in to, anyway. They actually _wanted_ him around, even if he had his fair share of fights with each and every one of them, even Brucie. They'd once fought so bad that the Hulk had come out. Bruce had found out Tony had a contract with General Ross and had already been too far gone to listen that it wasn't something Tony could just back out on without serious repercussions. Luckily, the Hulk still thought of Tony as his absolute favorite and no harm was done. Bruce had been apologizing for _months_ afterwards.

But Tony wasn't bothered by that. He wasn't bothered by most of the things that his teammates did that they worried would irritate him. Sure, sometimes he got pissed off, but he valued them too much to actually stay mad for long. He treasured them.

The problem was that he also treasured a super villain who had once tried to take over their world. Loki hadn't exactly done anything so extreme since, but he wasn't coming off SHIELD's hot list anytime soon. And that, in turn, meant that there was no way he and Tony could be together openly without causing both of them a lot of problems and possibly getting Tony thrown into a maximum security SHIELD prison.

Tony wrapped his arms around himself, squeezing tightly and letting his eyes fall shut. He stood there, in the cold air despite the heat lamps, and tried to pretend that they weren't his arms, but Loki's. He tried to imagine what it might be like to be able to have his lover with him in public, to be able to go out on real dates and not cause an international panic. He wished he could ask Loki to move in with him and not have to worry about his roommates freaking out and imprisoning the god at first sight.

But that wasn't how things were. It wasn't reality and Tony, for all of his faults, was a very realistic man. It didn't help anything to dwell on how things weren't if you weren't devising a path to make them reality…which wasn't a bad idea, actually. Maybe that would be his New Year's Resolution, exonerating Loki of his crimes.

Tony settled back against the railing again, plans beginning to form in his mind. He'd have to talk to Loki first, of course. Pepper had been lecturing him recently about doing things for people without their permission. Apparently it wasn't always the thought that counted.

"I love you, Loki…I know I haven't managed to actually say it yet, but I do. I'm in way too deep, oh, Popsicle of mine. There's no going back now."

A particularly strong gust of wind swept across the balcony then, ruffling Tony's hair and stinging his exposed skin enough that he had to squeeze his eyes shut against the pain. _Jesus_! He knew the wind would be strong this far up in the air, but that was just ridiculous. Time to go inside. Blinking his eyes open, his entire body froze.

A tiny swirl of snowflakes encircled a small red box wrapped with a green bow. It sat perfectly center on the balcony as though it had always been there, even though Tony knew there was no way in Hell it had been. It was like every clichéd bit of Christmas Magic he'd ever seen in a movie. Cautiously, he moved to pick it up.

The tag had his name of it and he couldn't contain the smile that played across his lips as he clawed at the wrapping paper. He'd never been one for carefulness and he certainly didn't have the patience for it with such hope blooming in his chest. Inside the box, a piece of paper was curled over the actual present. He lifted it almost reverently and moved closer to one of the heat lamps to read it.

'_My Hobbit,_

_Keep it secret. Keep it safe.'_

He would recognize that flowing, elegant handwriting anywhere and his smile split into a full-on grin. Loki had given him a Christmas present. _Loki_ had shown up at _Avengers Tower_ to give him a _Christmas present_. There was definitely magic in the air tonight.

Curled up in the bottom of the box was a delicate silver chain with a golden ring on the end of it. The chain was long enough that the right would hang well under any shirt he wore. Runes were carved all around the outside and Tony ran his thumb over them in fascination. He didn't make jewelry, but he knew well enough about detail work and engraving that this would have taken a lot of time and effort.

The runes heated under his touch and he nearly dropped the bauble in his surprise. As he watched, the runes shifted to form letters, spelling out words as he turned the ring in his fingers. They were written in the same elegant script as had been on the piece of paper now clutched in his hand.

'_I will always be with you.'_

Fighting off the wave of sentiment that threatened to overwhelm him, Tony slipped the chain over his head and tucked the ring safely under his sweatshirt and the t-shirt that was underneath. He was Tony Stark, for crying out loud, he wasn't doing to fall apart because of one little Christmas gift. And if there was any moisture stinging his eyes it was clearly just a reaction to the winds blowing around him.

The ring heated against his skin once more and he scrambled to yank it out by the chain again. Forget dignity, it wasn't like there was anyone there to see him make an idiot out of himself. The letters were rearranging themselves again, flowing between forms until they spelled out something new.

'_I love you, too.'_

Tony let out a bark of laughter and pressed a fist to his mouth, biting down on the knuckle. Behind him, he heard the door to the inside open. He dropped the ring back under his shirts and wiped frantically at his eyes before whoever had come out here had the chance to see.

"Tony?"

Rhodey then. That was good. He could handle Rhodey.

"Are you okay, man?"

Tony turned to face his oldest friend, the grin on his face real for the first time that day.

"Yeah, yeah I am. Just having a really, really good Christmas."


End file.
